Living through our children’s little years, can seem like a lifetime and like a hare fleeing for its life. Just when we get close enough to get a glimpse of their cozy coat, off it goes.
Last week, my six-year-old daughter learned to put her hair in a ponytail.
This week, my three-year-old pulled his jacket from my hands and loudly proclaimed, “I can do it myself!”
The final days of physically helping my children are fast approaching. While, I like having them be independent I miss them needing my help.
Oh, the mom dilemma.
Do you struggle with the mom dilemma?
We want our little ones to sleep through the night while missing the one-to-one time.
We want them to stand for what is right, and never argue against our opinion.
We never want to miss a hug and are annoyed that they are out of bed.
We never want to miss a moment of their childhood and ache for an uninterrupted shower.
We wish we can have both a clean house and a clean self at the safe time. Yet, we would be sad we had spent so much time cleaning and missed out on time with our kids.
The aching of a mom heart is complex. The stress of missing anything is overpowering. Anxiety constantly beckoning us with irresistible temptation.
My twelve-year-old son’s hands used to fit into mine; now mine fit into his. He used to cuddle under my arm as we read books together. Now, I cuddle next to him.
Change is hard for the mom heart. We want it, and we don’t. We are eager for it, and yet are sad when it happens.
We want time alone, and cry when we are alone.
We want quiet and yet miss the noise.
We want them to grow up and want them to stay small.
The mom heart is in a constant battle of enjoying the present, yet excited about the future, while missing the past; in the same moment. The Mom heart is never one with only one emotion. The mom heart is complicated. The mom dilemma is real.
I am grateful God made us; for our God is complex. He delights in new life, feels anger at sin, and knows the sorrow of death. The Father gave us his son. The one he most loved. He watched him tortured and hung on a cross. He heard his last words and saw him take his last breath. Oh, the emotion the Father must have had. Anger and sorrow. Rage and grief. Pride and delight. His son had conquered sin, Satan, and death. His son gave it all so that humanity could have it all. Love and joy.
Living in the little years is hard, sweet, and special. They are dirty years, emotional years, and lonely years. They are fleeting and eternal. They are busy and boring. They are fun and exhausting. They are sweet and sad.
When our mom hearts struggle, we can sit in the presence of God and know our hearts are like his heart. Our complex feelings are those of our creator and Father. For his heart is also complex.