Leaving my daughter sobbing her eyes out at kindergarten ripped my heart out and put it through the shredder. I stood by the window listening to her cries then took a deep breath and walked to the car.
3 minutes later Rob called from Czech. He asked, “How are you doing?” Oh man, if only he knew the floodgate, he had just opened, he may have asked something different. HA!
It is so hard to know when to tell your kid, “You are strong and will be fine.” And when to sweep in like a superman sized hulk and carry them away.
Sometimes I make the right decision and other times I don’t.
Rob gave me some wise advice, “Liz, Lilly knows you love her. But ,just because you tell her that she is strong, and you tell her that she is brave doesn’t mean she believes it. Part of her growing up is realizing in HER heart and in HER soul she is strong. She is in a safe place with good teachers. And in just 3 hours when you pick her up, a beautiful and wonderful seed will have been planted in her heart. She will know she is strong. She will know she is brave. And that little seed will grow every time she experiences something new or hard.”
As I prayed for my little Lilly and for the hard decisions we parents have to make, a verse came to mind:
“There before was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. God will wipe away ever tear from their eyes.” -Revelation 7:9,16-17
Heaven is going to be a beautiful and wonderful place. Filled with people from every nation who know a personal and intimate God, that has met their most fundamental needs. I think about sitting at table with a group of these people and hearing their stories of God’s faithfulness and miracles. I not only want to have my own stories to share, I want my kids to have stories to share! But to have stories, we and our kids have to be brave.
I want my little Lilly girl to be brave. Brave enough to stand for what is right. Brave enough to love people who are hard to love. Brave enough to share the gospel wherever God may take her.
When I picked up Lilly she was smiling from ear to ear. I was reminded that she is already braver, stronger, and more resilient then I realize. While, I do hope Lilly always lives next door, I know she won’t. And when it’s time for her to start a new school, leave home, move to another country or simply ask for help she is brave enough to step into it. Through it, she will know a personal and intimate God, AND bring some epic stories to the table in Heaven.